Please know that it is not wrong to have these feelings. You can have a heart for God, seeking to serve him with everything you have, and still, have these feelings. The Bible tells us that King David was a man after God's own heart. He delighted in the LORD, but there were times when he felt forsaken.
David felt forsaken by people. He wrote: "But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by mankind and despised by the people. All who see me mock me; they make mouths at me; they wag their heads; 'He trusts in the LORD; let him deliver him; let him rescue him, for he delights in him!'" (Psalms 22:6-8 ESV).
David prayed, and it seemed as if God was not listening. The heavens seemed as brass as he prayed, “O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest" (Psalms 22:2 ESV).
In the midst of these feelings, David continued to trust God. He did not allow his feelings to diminish his faith in the LORD. Surrounded by solitude he proclaims, "Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel" (Psalms 22:3 ESV).
David was transparent, telling God exactly how he felt, but not allowing his feelings to destroy his faith. In the midst of feeling forsaken, he knew God was still on the throne; God was in control. A heart after God's own heart learns to trust God in all situations and circumstances.
At the cross, Christ was forsaken by people, and he, like David, felt forsaken by God. Grasping for his last breath, "Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, 'Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?' that is, 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'" (Matthew 27:46 ESV).
Jesus felt forsaken, but he trusted God, willingly giving his life, suffering and dying, taking the punishment for our sins so that we can have eternal life. His faith did not waver in spite of his feelings of isolation. God rewarded his faith, resurrecting Jesus, and placing him in his original state of glory.
Beloved, no matter what you are going through today, continue to trust God. Do not allow your faith to diminish. God is on the throne; He is in control; He hears your cry. Don't trust your feelings. Instead, in all transparency, communicate your feelings to God as David and Jesus did. Trust the LORD. Stand strong in your faith. God will bring you through. The best is yet to come in your life. You can count on it!
May God give you a mighty baptism of his presence. His Word will accomplish this in your heart.
Know that you are loved,
gaj
